Think back to an annoying habit that you have tried with all your might to get rid of. Whether it's nail biting, eating chocolate in front of the TV, checking your phone for the hundredth time or wasting money on online shopping - habits form in no time and are difficult to shake off.
If you've ever tried to break certain habits, you know exactly what I'm talking about. It definitely takes longer than 21 days (yes, that's a myth) - changing habits requires willpower, self-discipline, a strategy, and a good understanding of how they become established in the first place.
But how can bad habits be broken? And what exactly makes the whole thing so damn difficult - regardless of how motivated you are?
Although it may not seem like it, habits are actually automatisms (aka automatic behaviors) rather than well-considered decisions. Once ingrained in your brain, they no longer fall under the category of " conscious behaviors."
First and foremost, habits exist as a kind of shortcut for our brain. In order to save energy and so that we can focus on what is important, our minds are evolutionarily designed to find an easy way to do everything. As soon as our little grey cells notice that we behave in a certain way over and over again, a habit forms. This habit allows our mind to switch to autopilot and take over the management of our body.
So while you're busy with your morning routine, cycling to work, or scrolling through your Instagram feed before bed, you don't have to think much. That's because you've behaved this way so many times that it's ingrained in your brain.
Although they allow us to save a lot of time and energy, habits can negatively affect our productivity, well-being or happiness. But the good news is that because they are formed by our minds, the key to breaking old habits lies in communicating properly with our brain.
Here are six scientifically proven tricks to outsmart your brain and finally keep your bad habits at bay.
1. Find the origin of your bad habit
Figuring out why your habit exists in the first place is a lot less complicated than it sounds. It turns out that there is a pretty clear formula behind almost every habit. Every habit consists of three basic components, according to Charles Duhigg:
1. Trigger – the feeling, time or location that triggers your habit
2. Routine – the habit itself
3. Reward – the need that satisfies the habit
Being aware of these components is the first step to breaking your stupid habits. Here's how to do it: The next few times you go through your particular routine (habit), pay close attention. Try to be aware of the trigger and reward that caused it to happen. For best results, write down the trigger, routine, and reward each time.
Let's say you're trying to break the bad habit of scrolling on your phone before bed because it's causing you to not get enough sleep. Ask yourself: "What triggers the routine?" and "What (social) need am I trying to satisfy with it?"
The next time it happens, you need to concentrate: If you turned off your lamp just before going to bed (trigger), picked up your phone, scrolled through your feed (routine), and thereby satisfied your need for social closeness, write it down. After you've done this a few times, you can check whether everything follows a certain behavioral pattern. If you always scroll on your phone as soon as you turn off the lamp (trigger), or see that this habit satisfies your social needs (reward), then you're on the right track.
Recognizing your bad habits not only helps you find effective alternatives (more on that later), but also helps you become more aware of them. This new awareness transforms your habit from an automatic, unconscious routine into an intentional, conscious behavior pattern.
2. Change your environment
Finding out what triggers your habit is the first step to getting rid of it. Why? The trigger activates your habit - without it, you won't be prompted to start the routine in the first place.
So the trick is to eliminate the trigger altogether. According to practicalpal.net's Chief Behavioral Officer, Dan Ariely, the best way to do this is to take advantage of a completely new environment.
"When you move, you are not exposed to all the environmental cues you are used to. When you go on vacation or do something different for a few weeks, these are good times to break a habit."
Trying is better than studying: Researchers found that students who changed universities were more likely to change their habits than students in the control group because they were no longer exposed to the usual triggers.
It seems that the best time to tackle a bad habit is during a work trip or while on vacation. Since your brain isn't exposed to the typical triggers, you can avoid fighting your instincts while you're changing the habit. And once you return to your usual environment, it's much easier to continue the new behavior.
If you're not planning on going on vacation any time soon (like most of us probably are), an additional hack is to eliminate the shutter button from your usual environment altogether. Back to the cell phone example: Let's say you've realized that turning off (the lamp) is your trigger for reaching for your cell phone.
Experiment to see if you miss the habit if you don't turn on your lamp at all. Try using your phone light or the bedroom ceiling light instead. This might be the key to breaking the habit once and for all.
3. Formulate positive goals
Now that we've addressed the trigger, it's time to focus on another key component of the habit: the routine. Remember, the routine is the behavior that is triggered by the trigger stimulus—it's the habit you're trying to break.
When we decide to change bad habits, we usually phrase our goals in negative terms. We say we're going to try to stop hitting the snooze button, eating cereal in the middle of the night, or stopping biting our nails.
However, the part of our brain that deals with habits doesn't understand negative goals (I'm going to stop eating junk food) - instead, it goes through a learning process when working toward positive goals (I'm going to eat healthy). In fact, studies show that we're much more likely to achieve a goal that brings about a desired outcome (eating healthy) than one that eliminates an undesirable outcome (eating junk food).
Why? Pursuing negative goals is associated with feelings of incompetence, lower self-esteem and less satisfaction with one's own progress - and these emotions, according to psychologists, block us. On the other hand, it is much easier to get excited about the idea of achieving a positive goal. And that increases the likelihood of achieving it.
Instead of aiming to stop scrolling on your phone before bed, make it your goal to sleep better. Or instead of trying to cut out long nights at the bar, try to plan more nights together with friends at your apartment.
4. Find a good replacement
Here's another reason why your brain just doesn't get negative goals: Our minds and our bodies already have a hard time completely breaking a habit. Once a habit is formed, we instinctively run the familiar program as soon as our brain recognizes the trigger and demands the reward. So if you tell yourself that you have to stop spending too much money at your favorite bar, that's not enough to really change anything.
Rather than trying to eliminate the habit completely - which almost never works - the trick is to feed your brain a new routine that replaces the old one. How exactly? Keep the old trigger, provide the reward, but introduce a new routine.
Going back to the phone before bed example, you've now discovered that you crave social closeness (reward) as soon as you turn off your bedside light (trigger) and that habit stands between you and dreamland.
To replace the particular habit, you should find other evening activities that also satisfy your need for social closeness. Try having a quick call with one of your friends before bed, or talk to your mother for a few minutes via WhatsApp video (bonus: she'll definitely be happy!). Feel free to experiment with a few different routines and see what works well for you.
Once you've found a new routine, try to do it whenever the triggers and desire for reward arise. Since the new habit satisfies your brain's needs, you shouldn't encounter too much resistance, either physically or mentally. And the more often you do the new habit, the easier it will be for your brain to internalize it - and eventually it will become completely natural.
5. Tell your friends about your progress
Sharing your goals with others is definitely an underrated tool. According to a study by the Association of Science and Technology, you are 65 percent more likely to achieve your goal if you tell one of your friends about it. If you meet up with one of your buddies for coffee to talk about your goals, your chances of achieving them increase by 95 percent! If that isn't impressive.
Why is it so effective to let your friends know about your goals? When we make a public commitment to others, we tend to feel obligated to follow through. This is because we have a fundamental desire for our behavior and beliefs to be consistent. This tendency is called cognitive dissonance.
Sharing your successes with friends also provides positive reinforcement. Let's say you tell a friend that you've committed to a new habit of managing your money better. If you tell her that you invited friends over instead of meeting them at the bar, she'll definitely praise you. When that happens, your brain internalizes the feeling of elation you get from "Hey, great!" or "I'm proud of you." And that gives you even more encouragement to continue managing your money well and save more.
The next time you're trying to break an old habit, write to a friend - ideally one who is also trying to break an annoying habit. If you share in each other's wins and setbacks, you'll have a much better chance of breaking your unwanted habit for good.
6. Be kind to yourself
If you decide to change your habits, there's always the possibility that things won't go completely smoothly. It's just too tempting to scroll through your feed after a long day at work - despite your best efforts to go to bed early. Or to spend the extra 15 euros on a night out at the bar, even though you'd rather invite friends over to your shared flat.
When (not if) that happens, the best thing you can do is be kind to yourself. If you beat yourself up, you might end up associating your goal with negative feelings that can derail your progress and motivation.
Here's the good news: According to a study by Dr. Philippa Lally, if you screw up every now and then, it doesn't affect the habit formation process in your brain. So if you get off track here and there, just pick yourself up and carry on as if there had been no interruption.
In fact, making mistakes is actually a productive step in your journey to breaking habits – you can learn something about your habit that influences your strategy.
If you try to eat healthily and occasionally give up during a business meal or in stressful moments, you will learn how to prepare better the next time. This experience can even help you to beat your bad habits even more successfully and once and for all.
It's time to break your habits!
We all have that one habit that we desperately want to get rid of. But that will definitely not happen if we don't approach the whole thing strategically. Our brains are the strongest organs in our body - and once a habit has become ingrained, we have to communicate with our brain in a very specific way. With the hacks and tools described, you can replace your stupid habits (with better ones) in no time. And who knows, maybe you'll be pleasantly surprised and the new routine will even benefit you personally.